The Paine Ranch is located on somewhere in the neighbourhood of 500,000 acres here at the foot of a lovely range of mountains that climb to about ten thousand feet. The Payne Castle that my friend has created so beautifully lies just a ways up the side of those mountains, overlooking the Ranch.  Not far from the Ranch's land I have begun to notice the appearance of an inland sea, not unlike the one that existed here in Wyoming many, many years ago.

     There is a road that winds up through meadows to our land.   Aspen and pine trees are clustered here and there on either side.  Soon you come to a special River lined with willow and, crossing it, you see the entrance to Paine Ranch.  In the center of the Square there is an old, stone Well.  A crystal dipper rests on its rim for everyone to drink of the healing waters within.   Beyond the Well is a Main Hall.  It is a large, rambling rustic building made from cedar and logs.  Along the entire front is a porch or veranda with various chairs and hammocks for us to lounge around on in the always fair weather here.  Plants hang from the ceiling.  Wind chimes tinkle softly in the caressing breeze that occasionally, playfully makes its presence known.

   The Hall consists of a huge 'family' gathering place with a massive stone fireplace lining the entire back wall.  To the right is an enclosed porch with tables for dining together whenever we wish.  To the left are a series of individual rooms.  These smaller rooms are for reading or just quiet, meditative time spent alone or in small groups or pairs who just want to visit together.  They have comfortable chairs, lots of plants, and books lining some of their walls.  And, of course, stereo systems with the finest collection of music CD's and tapes.  One of the rooms has a jacuzzi hot-tub.  [And there is an entire building behind the Hall that has a pool, jacuzzi's and hot tubs, as well as the most marvelous sauna and a massage room or two.]

   Wandering off in all directions are paths that lead to the homes created especially to fit the needs and desires of each of you.  Places where each of you can come and stay alone or with family and, of course!, pets.  Some of these homes are nestled among the trees.  Some are at the edge of the meadow.  Some are atop small hillocks overlooking the pond.

     Beyond the main buildings is a large meadow that is always blooming with mountain flowers.  Blues, purples, whites, pinks, and the occasional red thrust of an Indian paintbrush can be seen everywhere.  Beyond this particular meadow (one of many) is a large pond with a sandy beach at this end.  There are always mallards, teal and Canadian geese in or near the water.  Occasionally trumpeter swans or magnificent snow geese come to visit before moving on.  The ripples of fat trout nudging the water's surface in search of caddis or mayflies spread here and there.  At the far end, a mountain stream winds it's way down from the foothills and into the pond.  Over there, there are rushes and cattails and tender willows, and a pair of beaver that are eternally building a dam.  Often a young moose comes down to feed on the lush underwater vegetation.

    Deer, both white-tails and mulies, abound; as well as majestic elk.  Horses wander free in the grassy meadows.  These meadows rise into the foothills where there is a most marvelous Crystal Cave.  The road up to the Payne Castle winds off to the right and up the base of the mountains.  Spires of the Castle can be seen from here below, and at night it's lights can be seen, serenely glowing amongst the tall lodgepole pines.

    The mountains are glorious!   Snow caps their highest peaks.  Every evening the most splendid of sunsets can be seen from the porches of your homes.  At night, the stars leap into the clear sky.  They can be touched here, you know.  And most certainly wished upon, in this place where all wishes come true.

    You have a home here, each one of you, forever and always.   A place you can always come to and be embraced in the healing love, support and company of us all.  Do you hear the murmur of voices, the ripples of laughter coming from the Hall?  We are gathered there, today, to welcome you - to welcome *all* of you who seek comfort for your pain.  Come on in and enjoy the warmth of the fire and the love of all of us who are waiting...just for you.

LRandall c. 1997

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    This is for Mickey:    It's about hope...

    Let me tell you more about your home on the Paine Ranch.  Actually, right now, I think we need to take a walk down by the pond.   There's something there I want to show you.  It's a warm and gentle day.   No ice, just snow glistening whitely in the sun up on the beautiful high mountains looming off nearby to the west.

    We wind our way slowly along the path that leads down to the water.   There are tall bushes on either side, soon to be blossoming with lilacs and other Spring flowers.  The buds are just now beginning to promise themselves out, tender and fuzzy looking.  Little brooklets are beginning to run down here and there from the foothills, making little busy sounds as they rush to nourish the new life that will soon burst forth here, filling the thirsty mouths of all the little things that will soon be green.

    We walk out into the open and follow the path down to the water's edge.   It is a large pond: sandy beached on this side, and melting into cattails and tall water grasses on the other.  A gentle breeze ripples it's surface, making it lap the shore with tender watery tongues.   Winter nearly gone, it continues to breathe itself as it always has and always will.   The pond breathes itself just as we do.

    Here is what I wanted to show you.  First, the sound coming from the distance: gabbling and quonks, faint, coming closer...and then they appear in the distance, winging gently but steadily over the horizon from the south...a cloud of Canadian geese.   Arrowing in, honking with delight at the sight of such a pond, they heel with a brief wild winging before they brake themselves into the waiting water.   Babbling to themselves and each other, they spread out to forage in and around the thick stands of cattails.  Geese feeding.  Geese drinking.   Geese running water over their backs, preening feathers gone awry from the long flight.  Geese haronking happily, bobbing heads, rafting themselves sedately as only wild geese can be, before us as we stand here...watching...listening...  And, in that listening, we hear their promise: the promise of Spring and warm breezes and safe passage to those places we long to take ourselves to...

      May you always be blessed with peaceful thoughts in spite of your pain, my friend.  Welcome to Paine Ranch.  You will always have a home here to come to whenever you want.  A safe place where fear and pain are soothed by the company of wild things...and the company of we who meet here.

LRandall c. 1997

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      Since you all have homes here at the Ranch and it is such a beautiful day, I thought it might be a good time to go up to the Crystal Cave which is just up a little ways into the foothills close to the Castle.   This is a special healing cave, and we're all in need of that, so let's all go together now.

      We walk (don't let that stop anyone, there are other ways of getting there, too, and everyone is able to come along, even our pets) up a winding path lined with aspen and pine.   The breeze rustles the aspen leaves and the effect is like having a thousand tiny wind chimes echoing softly in the trees above us. Softly as butterflies wings, the leaves sing their song.   We reach a clearing and there, set into the hill before us, is the entrance to a series of caverns.

      They are spacious and tall, each sort of like a mini-cathedral vault, arched.   There are openings in the tops of these that lead to the surface and through which the sun shines, lighting the way of those who enter here.   There is nothing to fear.   We enter the first room of the caverns.   Everyone stops and stares in disbelief:   walls and ceiling are covered with garnets, deep red.   Garnets are a stone of healing, one that brings revitalizing energy right to our very core.   The color red flows liquid and warm over us. It speaks of internal fire, igniting the creative energy within us to heal.   We feel renewed life flow into us, the energy of health.   It flows into every organ, every muscle, every tissue.   It ascends up through the spine and out into every nerve, spreading into every part of our bodies, filling us with balance and vitality.

      We linger there for a while, touching the precious stones, feeling their life force, seeing them sparkle and reflect the filtered rays of the sun that illumines them.

      Refreshed, we walk along a path amongst the stones and into the next of the series of "rooms."   Here we are astonished by the color orange.   It is a golden orange, reflected in thousands of crystal clusters of citrine all above and around.   We breathe in the orange and all negative energy disappears.   Suddenly, even the darkest corners of our Selves are brightened, and we laugh in spontaneous joy.   Here, we feel an all-encompassing wave of comfort and optimism flow over and into us.   We stay for a while and laugh among ourselves, exploring the many facets of the crystal splendor, touching as many as we can lovingly, as they give us even more energy and a pleasant sense of emotional balance.

      As we enter the third room, yellow bursts upon us!   The cave is a mass of amber - precious, smooth, ageless droplets that contain within themselves the essence of life itself.   Used by ancient tribal healers, amber purifies body, mind and spirit.   We breathe it in deeply, allowing our bodies to heal themselves with its energy.   As the yellow fills us, our thinking becomes crystal clear.   Suddenly we realize that we have become open to new ideas about our lives.   We allow ourselves, joyously, to become open to the wisdom of the universe - and to the wisdom each of us holds within our own soul.

      Smiling and letting our hands wander over the polished golden surfaces, each of us releases all of the limiting ideas we have held about ourselves.   Lighter and almost buoyant now, we pass into the next room.

      Hushed, we gaze all about at a festoon of emeralds.   Green.   The stone of love.   The color of that which we hold within our hearts.   Silent, almost reverent, we realize that, here, the ability within each of us to heal ourselves is being awakened.   We feel the energy of harmony and peace all about us.   It flows into and embraces each of us and all of us together.   Here there is no room for negativity or doubt, no place for fear or conflict, no space for harm of any kind.   We breathe in the green and discover that we are released into an aura of calmness, contentment and joy.   We welcome in the green that the emerald cave showers upon us, the love, the limitless flow that is ours to give and receive.   We linger here a long time, quiet and at peace with ourselves, with one another, and with all of the universe.

      Finally, we move into the next room on our journey: sparkling, incredibly blue celestite shines in and upon us from every wall and ceiling space.   It is a gentle blue, clear in its intentions.   Here, we feel exquisitely cradled in the energy of wisdom.   We inhale the blue and discover that our throats open and we are able to speak our Truths.   Soft and radiant, we feel the force of inspiration rise within us.   Here there is no judgment or blame, neither in what we speak, nor in what we hear.   Guided to speak from our own inner wisdom, our voices mingle as we express to one another - and to ourselves - that which is in our hearts.   Here we are one and at peace from the centers of our Selves.

      In time, we move on into the next cavern.   Purple, deep purple, light purple, rich purple, all the shades of purple rise from floor to vaulted heights in incredible crystal clusters of amethyst. Some so tiny as to be nearly invisible.   Some so large it seems one could walk through the windows of its facets and into another time and place altogether.   Which, indeed, one can; for here lies the doorway into the time both before and after pain.   Here, there is no in between.   There is no pain.   Here our bodies, emotions, and minds become transformed in any way that we desire for ourselves. Suddenly we come to understand the principles of change.   We breathe in the amethyst light as calm and peacefulness, serenity and composure envelops us.   This is a room filled with spirituality and contentment.   All the dysfunctionality of body, mind and spirit leaves us and is dissolved forever.   Here there is no pain, and we know that we can come here any time we want.

      Finally, reluctantly, we enter the last room.   Magnificent white light greets us as we view an endless expanse of clear quartz crystals.   These, we intuit, symbolize all that we are.   They make a beautiful, powerful statement:   the statement of each one of us, individually and collectively.   They speak of who we were, are, and will be for all time.

      Each of us breathes all of this deep into our heart centers.   We begin to shine forth our own light.   We radiate outward into the very universe.   We realize the "Universal Parent" without and the divinity within.

      All together, we flow with and into this astonishing light.   We hear the promise it makes to each of us:  "Child, there will be new directions for you to explore.   There will be guidance you can trust.   You will have the wisdom that you will know whatever it is you need to know, that you will remember whatever it is that you need to remember, and that you will let go of whatever it is that you need to leave behind you.   Know that you are loved beyond all your fondest imaginings, beyond all your deepest yearnings.

      "Go now, and know that day by day, night by night, your light will grow ever brighter and will shine into all of the dimensions of your life, lighting your way.   Feel the joy of being alive.   You are perfect, whole, and complete just the way you are.   You are a unique expression of all that is, a wondrous child of Love."

      Hushed, we gather together to take a last look on this day of our journey.   We know that we can return here any time we want to:  together, with our families and loved ones, with our pets, or by ourselves.   We know that - no matter how troubled our lives, how intense our pain, how sad and lonely we feel at times, how overwhelmed we feel by life sometimes - we are loved.   Not just here in this special place, but in our own hearts, in the hearts of others, in all the world, with every breath...we are loved.

      Walk in that love always.

LRandall - 1998

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      Hello, my friend.  It's 2 AM at the Paine Ranch.  You have decided, only for a moment, to come out of your bed and venture beyond those closed doors.  You sense, somehow, that there is something, someone "out there" that understands your pain and defeat.
      You walk out onto the porch of the home you find yourself in, especially designed for you and your loved ones.  I know it's hard to move without pain and fear, but you walk outside and lean up against the rail.
      The moon is full and bright.  Looking out from your porch towards the mountains, you see the distant lights of the Castle part way up the foothill slopes and feel comforted.  You know that you have a place both here and there.  They are so close together, and complement each other...only a short ways apart...you can be in either place in the blink of an eye.  The Castle has no "back wings"", by the way, only places where each of us has just exactly what he or she needs.  They are all "front wings", but with the quiet and solitude of the former if that is what you desire.
      You see, here - in both the Castle and the Ranch - everyone has a place where they are honored, adored, and respected for being and feeling just the way they do.
      But now, tonight, you decide to make your way onto the porch of your home at the Ranch.  And, leaning against the rail, looking up at the Castle, you notice the Night surrounding you.  It is the time of night when we wake and wonder.  That is what has brought you here.
      You look into the moonlit sky and see stars that are so incredibly bright and close, you feel that you can reach out and touch them.  You remember, "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight:  wish I may, wish I might:  make my wish come true tonight" from long ago.  And suddenly you realize that all the stars appeared at once and are there for you to make, not one, but as many wishes as you want.  And you know, without being told, that they all will come true.
      You see the moon reflecting off of the stillness of the pond beyond the meadow.  You know, somehow, that that moonlight is your dream-self reflecting off of the pond that is your reality.  Your inner reality, the way you have always wanted it to be, and how it *really* is; but which, in your pain, you have forgotten for a moment in time:  deep, feeling, flowing, nurturing, alive and life-giving.
      In that moment, as you look upon the water, you realize that, as alone as you feel in your pain, you are *not* alone after all.  In your pond-self you feel and identify with the life moving within your depths.  You are transfixed as you feel the stirrings of life within you.  Loons call in love upon your surface, poignant and lonely, as is their kind.  You understand that.  Pain is poignant and lonely.
      Deer come down from the Castle heights to drink from you.  They receive nurturance from you.  You are a life-source, and you recognize the connection you have with these precious, shy creatures.  Precious and shy yourself, you understand that we are all here to give and receive nurturing and sustenance from one another.
      You look up within your pond-self and see the feathered bellies of the wild geese that rest upon your surface.  Nestled closely together, bonded for life, they murmer quietly to you that there is, indeed, a concept of family, whether it comes from within or without - a family that bonds together and understands.  Understands *everything*, even pain.  And accepts you.  Like we do.
      You lift your eyes and your thoughts back to the night sky.  And, in doing so, you realize something you haven't known for a long, long time:  you are not alone and you never will be again.  You don't have to stay by yourself in that "back wing" any longer.  You look down the hill and see that lights are beginning to come on in the other houses not far from yours.  Dawn is coming.  This one's for you.

L. Randall copyright © 1997

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Dear Jan,
      Your home at Paine Ranch (nestled in the foothills below the Pain Castle) is already prepared for you and Sadie (and the rest of your pets, of course).  As you walk out of the willows lining the drive, you will see the Well.  There is a crystal dipper for you to refresh yourself.  And, most certainly, a bowl of clear healing water for Sadie, which is always there where the water is allowed to trickle over the lip of the well, keeping it perpetually filled for the pet companions who accompany us.
      You sound like you want some time alone, so you will probably want to bypass the main hall for the moment, and walk up to your house to rest for a bit.  The path to it wanders off towards the pond where you hear the "Thwack!" of a beaver tail slapping the water in the distance.  Birdsong fills the air from the pines above your head as you walk to the cabin you see before you.  It has a wide open porch all along the front, and large windows to let the sun inside the house itself.  You have the key:  it's in your heart and opens every door here.  Go inside and relax for a bit.  A bowl of fruit is waiting on the table for you, and I think I see a biscuit or two for Sadie there, as well.
      When you are rested, you might want to wander over in the direction of the nearby pond.  It has a sandy beach on this end and the water is oh, so clear.  Trout circle lazily and occasionally rise to catch a careless caddis fly.  As you and Sadie approach, a young moose raises his head from the underwater grasses he has been browsing upon.  Knee deep among the cattails, he looks comical standing there gazing at you with such a big mouthful of watery greenery that you laugh aloud.  He returns to his meal, and you take off your shoes to walk on the warm sand.  Sadie runs before you in absolute delight.  The mountains rise before you at the far end of the meadow, and you can just make out the winding trail that leads up to the castle above.
      Sit for a while by the water.  A stream, running down from the mountain, enters the pond at the opposite end.  You watch the beaver pair as they carry sticks and small branches over to the dam they seem to be forever constructing.  A pair of Canadian geese arrive with a ploosh! into the pond's far side and quonk happily to each other.
      All is peaceful here.  All is in perfect harmony.  Sadie comes over and nestles down beneath your hand.   The sun is warm, the breeze gentle and soothing.
      When you are ready, the rest of us are gathered in the main hall chatting lazily and waiting for the evening meal, which we have chosen to share together this evening.  Please join us, you are such an important and welcome part of our "family."

L. Randall copyright © 1996

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      Welcome to your home at Paine Ranch.  As you walk up the path, don't forget to stop at the Well.  It is right before you and filled with healing waters.  A crystal dipper waits to refresh you.
      As you approach, you hear the murmer of voices from the Main Hall, occasional ripples of laughter.  We are there, today, just kind of hangin' around.  The Hall is a very large log building which blends in very nicely to the lodgepole pines that surround it.  A grove of aspen is over to the left and a little behind.  Dogs, cats and other pets are playing in the morning sunshine filtering down through the leaves.  As you approach the steps, a dappled horse walks up to nuzzle your hand.  ( You happen to have a piece of carrot left in your pocket.) You stroke his velvety muzzle and he nickers to you softly in thanks before trotting out to the meadow where other horses are grazing.
      You walk up the wide steps onto the large veranda that extends the length of the Hall.  Rockers, recliners, and hammocks abound, and hanging baskets with flowers and plants of every kind rock lazily in the ever-so-slight warm breeze.
      As you enter the wide open door, we see you and come to greet you.  Everyone gives you a warm hug and a welcome.
      Come, let me show you around.  The main room we are in is filled with couches and comfortable chairs arranged in a circle, with the far end opening onto the hearth of a stone fireplace built into the entire wall.  Various cats are dozing there in comfort from the remaining warmth of last evening's fire.
      To your right, the whole length of that wall, is an enclosed porch with long tables where we dine together when we choose.  To the left are doors to several rooms.  Each is a quiet place where one or a few can retire to read or meditate or just quietly talk.  We open the door to one which attracts you and go in. Soft music is coming from the stereo system that each room has.  You recognize the "Going Home Melody" from Danial Kobialka's "Admiring the Moon."  There are two comfortable chairs with a marble topped table between.  On the table is a vase of flowers, every color, and two steaming cups of herbal tea.  We sit and visit for a while, sipping the warm, spicy brew.  You notice, in the bookshelf lining one wall, that there is a copy of every book you love or ever wanted to read.
      I leave you to rest and relax for a while.  The music and the murmer of our voices outside the door sooth you.  You are not alone.  Whenever you like, you will come join us.

L. Randall copyright © 1999

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